FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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