Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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