Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
