I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
