You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
