the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
