We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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