I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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