at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
