One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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