I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If that was your dad, he is hot
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
