It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
