Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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