Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
