There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
