Kiss
Puke
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
