Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
