Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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