i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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