but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can vaginas get frostbite?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
