why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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