Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize