you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
