I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
