HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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