i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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