walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
