Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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