just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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