My nipple is on Facebook.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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