I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
