the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
