Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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