Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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