The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
