I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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