You smell like stripper and shame
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dick very happy bro
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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