You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
