Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
