now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
