I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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