I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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