Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
