she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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