He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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