my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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