Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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