i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i drank out of a bidet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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