Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
