I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
