my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
