So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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