I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
