This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
