Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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